PARADOX - chapter [1] continued

Thoughts are cluttering my mind. Have I ever thought of myself falling in love again?

It was so long ago, that dear feeling of carelessly loving.

Carelessly feeling that electric buzz that made my heart beat at the speed of light.

Oh, I miss being 17 or was it 16? That was a phase I deeply cherish.

I don't want to feel that feeling ever again.

As wonderful it might have been and as empowering, I've never felt more alone in my entire life.

The dreadful feeling that I love someone that doesn't love me back.

I know what it is like when the love is one sided. Do you think it's easy?

So I made this unbreakable rule to never ever fall in love again.

At my work, this undistinguished office work that I still don't get – there's this guy, he's handsome. He's not smartest one. Yes I adore smart human beings.

I've never ever thought I'd like him. He's not my type.

Who will I follow fall? I really don’t know.

However, why is that I make myself think of him right now?

I'm such uncontrolled person.

I don't know why, but I like that he is just like me.

He has those sides that familiar to me because they remind me of myself.

Why would I care for him?

Please stop thinking, it'll most likely kill you and not save you.

"Hey Dylan, do you need help? You seem pretty exhausted". That was what Adam said.

I made myself think – "why would he suddenly care? Isn't it strange?"

I answered him that everything is fine, I'm just arranging for my manager's upcoming presentation; I wanted it to be perfect.

After Adam went home without saying goodbye – I found myself daydreaming about something I forgot the minute I finished.