candleburn

Let's face it — how can a person describe his/her quirky traits or behavior? The thing is that what I find quirky can seem completely normal to someone else, right? Or, my quirkiness might seem a bit strange, not in the most positive way. So what does even “quirky” mean? one of the many definitions is — “something that is strange/not normal but cool.” My list must be odd, that’s for sure, please note that there is no specific order: 1. Books / Wet grass /Perfumes/Detergents /Gasoline scents. It had all started when I was a young girl, That’s when I’d begun to get intoxicated with smells — of all kinds. The smell always had some kind of consoling connotation or a reference to an important person in my life. I remember liking the smell of cars’ gasoline, I could just smell it until it had made me feel nauseated. There’s no particular reason for it, maybe it was due to my father’s deep love for cars, and that’s how my mind connected the dots? My mind

It’s hard to make a decision when voices of people around you suggest countless additional ideas to contemplate about. There was a slight fear of being mocked for the idea of traveling to the same destination. You can’t help it but feel the pressure of others’ opinion on it: “Why would you go to the same place? there are so many other places to explore.” This question has been brought up to my attention, and it has made me feel quite doubtful. I knew I wanted to explore more places, but deep inside there was a lingering longing to go back to the place that I’ve once visited for a short while. Do I really want to go back? © Vera Tarlov The idea of the exploration of a far away destination in order to find yourself or your purpose is  a romanticized notion . Later on, you realize that exploring a new country would not bring you closer to your purpose. It can make you feel a bit calmer in a way, as I remember being in a state of a deep solace, I really felt alive.

You hold on to a memory when the void is difficult to bear, Like inside a vague dream, You see a motionless figure from afar a figure that slowly vanishes into thin air. © Vera Tarlov || Place: “Dreamy Camera Cafe” in South Korea, It might be nice to cling to memories. When do you know that the memory is real? and that it was not your mind’s creation? We all have that memory or even a few memories to cling to when we are in deep despair or when we’re just lonely. When I’m lonely I look for ways to fill that void, and if I can’t, it becomes unbearable. Memories can be associated with a person you loved and now you are no longer in touch with, dwelling on memories that this specific person had left with his departure. You start to wonder about — “what that person had left imprinted on your soul?” or “what kind of memory had you left?” Sometimes, our memories don’t align with the other person’s memories. It’s all an element of perspective. Perspectives might be tricky, as

nascent turbulence veiled twinge forthwith, it will commence prevailing over your yearning the pain stings and makes you numb adhering to the truth that with the budding hopes there are burgeoning woes adhering to the truth that with time nothing really changes your soul silently aiming at a distant point that you still are afraid to conquer forthwith, it will commence the inner battle inanity against vanity vanity as the initializer for imbalance versus inanity as a purer glance an insight of the inner hurdle © Vera Tatrov || Place: South Korea

"I've missed your calls for months it seems Don't realize how mean I can be 'Cause I can sometimes treat the people That I love like jewelry 'Cause I can change my mind each day I didn't mean to try you on But I still know your birthday And your mother's favorite song So I'm sorry to my unknown lover Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really Starts to fall in love with me Sorry to my unknown lover Sorry I could be so blind Didn't mean to leave you And all of the things that we had behind Oh Oh Oh I run away when things are good And never really understood The way you laid your eyes on me In ways that no one ever could And so it seems I broke your heart My ignorance has struck again I failed to see it from the start And tore you open 'til the end ...."