candleburn

Jonghyun you did well, May your soul rest in peace.

It was the view from our ride on the Sky High Ferris Wheel in Odaiba Tokyo. Odaiba is a man-made little island that is located in Tokyo. You can easily get there by train or ferry. In our case, we took a ferry and a short train ride. A pouring rain had started on our way to Odaiba, thankfully we didn't have much walking to do between the ferry and the train station and the train to the Venus fort mall in Odaiba. On our way to the nearest train station to Odaiba, we took a ferry, on our way we could see the Sky Tree building, the second largest building in the entire world. Once we arrived in Odaiba, we entered the Venus fort mall, as a maneuver to escape the typhoon rain outside and get some food as we were starving.

Our last full day in Tokyo was a memorable one. In the morning my friend Vera wanted to check out  Tokyo Imperial Palace , we were so excited to check it out. However, it turned out to be a hard task to find the Palace, so we chose to wander around the mesmerizing Imperial palace's gardens instead. The weather was quite moody and raining nonstop and it turned out that it was actually a typhoon that day, it kind of felt like the weather was crying due to our upcoming departure. I was trying to take pictures while holding the umbrella, and as a clumsy person, it was not an easy task at all. We met a foreign person that looked for the palace and asked for guidance as the Google Maps app led him to a dead end, My friend shared some of her theories regarding the potential location of the palace and wished him luck. Unfortunately, we didn't find the palace, even didn't see it from afar. We hoped that nice stranger actually managed to find it. After a long stro

It feels like my trip to Tokyo was ages ago, it often feels like a dream that never happened. My friend and I went to Disneyland for the first time ever. Neither of us has ever been to Paris or the US, so it was our chance to make our childhood dreams come true and visit the classical Disneyland in Tokyo. It was a typical Wednesday morning, in the beginning of September, We didn't anticipate much crowd as it was a working day, but to our surprise, the park was overcrowded with locals. We arrived at the park at around 10 AM and waited in lines to get the tickets as we have not purchased them ahead of time. The wait was for about half hour long and we bought a one day pass (which was later switched to 2 days pass). Our first attraction was the STAR TOURS, I can't say I'm the biggest Star Wars fan, as I've only watched the recent movies and never really seen the first movies from the first trilogy. It seems funny now, as it was not a strategic move because this

"Just like a long time lost memory I was trying to regain I wish I could have recreated the situation I wish I could have swayed your heart "

My friend and I had a fab time at the dreamy camera cafe . The Cafe had the best views from its window. There was such a huge collection of cameras which could be a nice sight for an enthusiastic photographer. We have been there via trazy  tour. My friend and I had been there with a lovely couple that was visiting from the US. The husband taught my friend some useful tips regarding manual mode on  DSLR and I've been chatting a bit with his nice wife. I can't believe it was almost 2 months ago. That day was such a blessing to me. I've been having many panic attacks and anxieties. I couldn't eat at all before our trip. I've lost so much weight and was doubtful if I were strong enough to go on this trip. But from day to day I gained back my confidence. Most of my confidence was gained thanks to Scott our lovely tour guide :), he has been very nice and was very helpful, he said that we are young and should explore Seoul more by ourselves. And yet I was so scar

"Looking at the cityscape Tiny little bubbles sparkling in the night I don’t think its ever too late To cut the ties that bind us to our lies"

We all have our difficulties. It is like when I looked into his eyes that I could understand him, it was as if I could read his thoughts. It is a strange feeling to think that you can understand someone's heart and at the same moment a thought crosses your mind and you get an intriguing feeling all by yourself, and then you think to yourself "how it can be that I understand this person when I don't know him at all". Sometimes I get this feeling and I don't the reason for it. As long as I have known myself, I've always tried to analyze everyone, to understand everyone's heart, but I couldn't really do it, I always failed miserably.

Our last day in Seoul - 18.9.17 Myeongdong shopping street

Do you believe that Every single thing happens for a reason? Do you believe that it is possible to Have change of heart every season? I look back and feel that Something was holding me back Something that I was afraid to say Sometimes, you look back at yourself You look back and see a total wreck Yet, sometimes, something happens Yes that something, It may be a good thing, Or even a bad thing, And it changes it all, It changes that feeling that held you back It happens out for nowhere And for better or for worse It happens for your own sake Then I look back Like I always tend to do I look back and feel mesmerized There is a greater power A power that leads me somewhere It might be good or bad But it resolves it all, It makes you feel us a whole Yet there are still many pieces to the puzzle Sometimes being led by greater power Is not enough Sometimes it still makes me feel That I'm nowhere to be found

"Blur" Stories to be told Stories to be read You think you go with the flow You wish you had Then you crush and burn You have checked the time Over and over again Time stood still Time stood while you were moving Do you feel the cold sweat around your neck? You thought you have done a reality check, But you have never known That with frozen time you still keep going You are going with no aim You are going full of shame You knew that you could do it You could be the one to go with the flow Yet, every time you tried Time froze and you kept going You thought you were fine You thought you would never cross the line The line which made your path obscure Yet again you crossed that line Yet again your road became a blur I was wandering along Looking forward to finding a way out But all I saw ahead were mere smears of colors Smears shaped like people Time froze and I was moving Against the smear-shaped people I was moving against logic And again

A long time ago, A long time ago that I've given up, I've given up on what I thought I should do, I was afraid, A long time ago, I can’t recall the time, I thought I'm not good enough, I thought that with time I'll find my way, But it was only a step back, I stepped back and never moved on, A long time ago, I've given up on myself, I told myself I'm not good enough, And today, years later, I can't fall sleep at night, My mind keeps buzzing with silent screams, I look up at the ceiling and wish for it to stop, A long time ago, I thought that I should not do it, I thought that I'm not good enough, Now years later I feel the after effects, Now my heart shows me what my mind has denied, It doesn't matter if I'm good enough, I still can retract my phases from years ago, I still can be my own, I'm good as it is, I'm good, as long as I find joy.

I've heard multiple songs by Glen, and I'm pretty sure I've heard this song above as well. This particular song was featured in the movie "Once", in which Glen appeared in the main role. While reading the novel "The life list" by Lori Nelson Spielman, it struck me by surprise that this movie was mentioned, I was amazed because the day before reading this particular part in the novel I was listening to the song and went to IMDB to read about this movie, and it was a nice coincidence! I often encounter such coincidences, ok not often, but I do encounter and these situations still amaze me.

I've been planning all these little plans that I wanted to accomplish once I finish my degree. but when the d-day finally is approaching I seem to be too reluctant to the positive change in my life. I feel like my anxiety is taking all over me once again. for the past few years I've been struggling with social anxiety, and yet, I felt that with the help of my best friend that eased my interaction with the outside world I got better. It was too soon for me to get all happy and excited about be overcoming my social anxiety.  It seems like since the start of 2017 my demons are slowly coming back to haunt me. It seems like all my plans and wishes once again won't come to life, and all due to my anxieties that I can barely control. I mean it's a daily struggle for me to decide and actually accomplish doing things. In 2015 I began my journey towards a healthier lifestyle. I kinda managed to eat healthier. but it seems that I can't really keep up with this lifestyle an

I knew this moment will pass It will pass and I'll eventually forget My mind will delete all the moments All the times I felt like home My mind will erase it all I'll go on like nothing has ever happened The past will cease to exist I knew this moment will pass I knew it very well But I wanted to mourn it I wanted to recall my precious friends I wanted to recall the precious moments At least for one mere moment I wanted to mourn the times I cherished The time will go on I will keep living like nothing has ever happened I will keep taking the same bus lines I will keep going to the same bus stops But there will be a hidden ache An ache of past memories Memories that I cherished Memories that ceased to exist

It is already 2017. I'm still having blackouts when a random person asks me a trivial question to which I instantly forget the answer to, and only remember 5 minutes after. I have no idea why these blackouts occur to me all the time, I was always hoping it would disappear with time, like a cold or like childhood memories that fade away. I'm not trying to sound melancholic, But I might be, and forget it after five minutes. Happy new years people!