candleburn

" I don't know why I don't know why We need to break so hard I don't know why we break so hard "

"Because maybe You're gonna be the one that saves me And after all You're my Wonderwall."

" I want a ticket to anywhere Maybe we make a deal Maybe together we can get somewhere Anyplace is better Starting from zero got nothing to lose Maybe we'll make something Me, myself I got nothing to prove "

"Once upon a different life We rode our bikes into the sky But now we're caught against the tide Those distant days all flashing by."

The past few months were tough on me, the first weeks of 2018 were even tougher. I felt like I was disappearing from this world. Literally, I could wake up put some kind of show, I’d put some red lipstick, and dress according to my feelings and I looked ok, I looked like everything was fine. The next day I was feeling disconnected. I’ve not put a red lipstick for a while now. It feels like I’ve given up on myself, it is sometimes hard to explain what I mean, I hoped and wished for my trip to Korea and Japan to be cathartic, which indeed was in some way. The points I want to point out that I don’t like and would like to change: Being self-conscious Being in a rush Trying to achieve too many things at once Lacking humor Naive to the point it hurts Afraid of myself, afraid of people around Not able to look directly at strangers eyes Making the same mistakes over again Afraid of being alone Afraid of interacting with other people I guess