So Called Life - Chapter 8

Someone is going to be there I said to myself, knowing that I was delusional, but I couldn’t do anything about it. He wasn't there, it was ok with me, it wasn’t like I expected him to come, and it doesn’t really bothers me anymore.After like a half hour he had showed and took my breath away, he was staring at me, with this angelic look on his face and I knew I couldn’t handle it, I knew I had to move on.He wasn’t taking his eyes off me, I could feel that, and I couldn’t stop thinking about him either.How could I forget this perfect sculpted face, how could I forget the moments we have shared. I knew so little about him, so did he, but I didn't care. There are only two months left for me to say him the truth I always wanted to tell but kept as a secret.Going back searching for the memories we have ever had, looking forward for a brighter future, the future that is going to be without you, the future with your absence won't be any future at all, how can you picture the fact that he'll be gone and you won't see him again.As I'm grabbing myself towards this high hill, I saw you looking at me with your deep look, waving at me and smiling; I couldn’t resist but do the same.You told me that you're a vulgar, but you can't be it. it is that you are too perfect.Every girl fallen for you already, and I wasn’t any exception."Hey Rose!" I heard a voice from behind my back, "oh it's you Danny", and I was delighted to see him, someone that I actually could talk to.I told him hi and we were talking about the regular stuff, I asked him for some advice.He was the one that informed that the guy I fell for is going to leave, I asked him for an advice how to get over him, and he really didn’t know what tell me, he has just broken up with his girlfriend himself and was kind of confused about the whole situation.However, the news that he told me helped me a little bit, but not that much.OMG, I was horrified I saw him again as he entered the class! And it was for the 2nd time, err how could I forget him that way if I just couldn’t get him out of my sight. He looked so gorgeous today he wore his denim shorts and that so amazing white shirt; I just couldn’t take my eyes off of him!"Why does he need to be so darn gorgeous?"I thought to myself loudly and this girl that sat two rows in front of me searched for the boy I was looking at, gladly that moment he had already left the class so that way she didn’t see him to my huge relief!As the lesson started I was scribbling his name all over my notebook, that was so pathetic, but I wasn’t drawing no hearts, there was no way in the world that I'm going to do so, just stars, you know the ordinary stars.I was wishing to see one falling star so that I could wish for the guts to tell him the way I felt about him before he leaves.As I was going to throw this drawing to the trash I ran to him again, and he smiled his perfect smile that melted my heart again too bad I didn’t do any attempt to say him hi, I was still paralyzed. He walked pass me calmly leaving me nerve wrecked.There was one day that he actually walked me home, and it was the best day in my life, oh no the second best, the best one was when we were going to a theater with the whole class to see a play.When we started to get on the buss, he was leaning on my arm and waited silently till I will say him to stop to but I didn’t do so, and my friend told him that I am too shy for saying anything to him, that moment I thought "how rude of her", and then he stepped back, and I waited so long for him to say something but he just told me to get on the buss, with his goddess voice "ladies first", I couldn’t forget that until today.I still see him as I enter the class, flirting with some girls, as he always does, but when I walk pass him he always look at me with this sharp look as he still talking to the girl besides him.I was envious at some points but what could I do about that, nothing, nothing at all.Until today it was how I may i put it in words, "an eye contact relationship", but today it got into another level, I finally had the guts to step forward and tell him everything, I didn’t know how would he react, but I had hopes, as any other girl who was madly in love.I told him I wanted to talk to him privately, and he didn’t know what all the fuss was about, but I didn’t care."I've to tell you something important", he looked at me with his mysterious unreadable face."What do you want to tell me?" he looked at me still mysterious but curious."I wanted to tell you something that I wanted to tell you all that time that I was staring at you if you had ever noticed that", he glared at me with a bit of delight, I wondered what he is thinking that moment and thought to myself that I would kill to have the power of reading minds like Edward had."I know what you're going to tell me, and you don’t have to really", I was astonished how could he know, maybe It did look kind of obvious and I answered back "You do what a relief it was really hard to tell you so". Then he looked furious out of a sudden "to tell me that you hate me, to tell me that you didn’t like me from the first time you have seen me, to tell me all these stupid things you were dying to say about what a bad influence I make on others, what Rose tell me sincerely what did you think I'd react like when you tell me that? Did you think I be alright with that? Rubbish, I don’t care what you think really", I was so amazed how could he think that stuff, I was so shocked I'd never thought of that, how could he be a bad person, he's perfect, there's nothing bad in him, just nothing, wait except of that there was one con that I disliked within him the fact that made me fall so madly in love with him. Then I reached my hand on his mouth and I said "you so darn confused and stupid that was the complete opposite of what I was going to tell you". He looked even more confused now, and then I went on "I was going to tell you that that….." and then this girl interrupted me and took him away by saying there was something they needed to do together.I don’t know what I felt at that point, I know that I have to tell him, and maybe I'll that tomorrow.On the way home to my surprise I saw him suddenly walking beside me, and he said me " we were interrupted go on and tell me what you meant to say in the first place", I was happy to see him like really happy, but I wasn’t ready, but I took a good long breath and then I went on saying him what I wanted to tell him, and I said :" I was going to tell you that I love you, and no it didn’t hit me like a thunder on the day we have met like it's in fairytales but with time when I got to know you, and that what I was going to tell you", he looked at me and he looked like he was going to drop his jaw and then he gave me that deep look and walked away, it was only after about week till I finally saw him again, and there were some disturbing news he was going to tell me.