So Called Life - Chapter 8 the sequel

How is it possible to erase the moments?
How is it possible to erase the pain?
Still as I head to my trail there's no other image,
No other image I can picture in my mind
Then the image of your goddess face

How could you be so close, and at the same moment
So far away?
Tell me the way to find you,
Show me the way to reach your heart…..

When i picture to myself that moment a week ago when I saw your face, as always with that so amazed expression, I think whether or not there's a way for me to forget, there's no doubt that there is one that is suitable, I just want to choose the right and the less painful.
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"Rose, hey, I was looking for you everywhere! What have you been trying to do? To hide from someone?" and then I winked to her, and thought to myself, girl you have no idea.

That was Gracie, she majors in philosophy just like me, I thought she wanted to tell me some news about our upcoming lesson or something. "Guess what "she said to me, and I said "what?", "Sarah Is going to return next year to teach us! Is not that fabulous, is it?" I was amazed by the news as well "wow that's amazing someone who really knows what is she talking about, lol", she smiled back at me and rushed to her next class,
As I was walking towards the door, the image of Josh, the boy I had a crush, showed up from nowhere, I hoped to see him again because I haven’t seen him from the day I finally confessed to him about my feelings to him.
That's the thing when you finally do something you actually scare the person away, and not that I've not thought about that kind of reaction, I did think of that but I haven’t really imagined that he would act like that, not that he likes me, or does he?

As I expected, he showed up a week later, and as I said before with some disturbing news in his mouth.
I was heading to my math lesson, we had different groups so he headed to his, and on the way we almost collided, because we have not been paying any attention to where we were going, and then he said "oh that's you", and I said "it's really nice to see you too". That point I was wondering what he had in mind, I was staring at him in order to find a small glimpse of what I was looking for, but nothing, his expression was completely blank to me, it's like he wanted to tell something, but kept changing his mind about that….
Then he got the strength out of nowhere and said to me: "I'm not sure if what you feel is really true I'd like to test by daring you, and if I see that you really love me as you say, then I'll say to you how I feel about you", ok that was the strangest answer I could ever get, was he kidding me?, it's like what was he trying to do? , to make fun of me, and then tell his friends how pathetic I'm, but I was truly ready for whatever challenge he's going to put me through, because I wanted so badly to know how he feels, and it doesn’t really matter to me what I've to do.
Then the bell rang and we entered to our classes, the whole hour I couldn’t think about anything except what dare I'd need to go through, would that be hard or ridiculous…
Then I googled "Meg Cabot" name, because she so popular for her romantic tales, so I just wanted to see if there was anything about dares in her stories, but I didn’t really find the answer iwas seeking for. when i came to the library during the breakfast period i headed to thelibrarian lady , just to talk and to recommend her some books that she should buy and so and then out of the blue we came across a great idea, of making a poetry contest, which we hoped that some pupils will actually participate in it. to my huge surprise and delight, a lot of students had entered, even before my announcement about the prize of the winning poem. deep inside i hoped that he's going to enter either but he didn’t.
When I signed up all the participants, I saw josh, Oh my god, my face froze, I was sure he decided not to participate, but there he stood just in front of me, with his beautiful eyes, that you can so easily sink into them, I wondered If he remembered the dare thing, and what he's planning on doing.
He said "hi, nice Idea, I didn’t have a clue that you're capable of that",
I was furious, "what is that supposed to mean? Mr. capable of all?"
He shrugged and told me," I was hoping you're going to tell me". I think he knew what I was planning; he hoped I'll say it to him rather than going back and forth.
I was thinking about his reply for a moment " I have no idea what you're talking about, I think it's nice to find out how many gifted people we have in school, and may the most gifted one win and feel appreciated as he should feel.", he looked confused by my answer not disturbed but quiet amused, and then he gently walked away.
I saw so many people as I was signing them I didn’t know that they were in my school, that was nice meeting new people, and I was glad that there were a lot of students who entered. While I was choosing the best deadline for my small project, I saw Lisa walking by, she looked angry. I wondered why she didn’t say hello or anything.

After I had chosen my deadline 12.12.06, I approached to Lisa and said "hi", she looked at me as sad as I've never seen her, I didn’t know what to think, and I asked her what happened "Did something happen to someone of your relatives? Tell me, I'm a good listener at times".
She looked at me with this sad face that simply turned to a frown and then to unexpected anger, as she was leaning on the table, she suddenly flushed mixed phrases I couldn't understand, and then she said "I h-a-t-e her", and I said "who do you hate?", "her" she told me as she pointed her finger, I tried to understand who that was and then I figured out she was pointing on me, I was horrified ,what have I managed to do now I thought to myself, and why did she call me "her", what's up with that?
So I said then "what did I do to you so you decided to hate me?", her expression turned to anxious and then furious and she murmured "not you!", so I asked "then who"?, and now I got it!, she was not talking about a living human being, she was talking about the character from the book she was reading, so I asked her "what is wrong with her? Why are you so furious?", her reply was unexpected and strange somewhat, and she said "how come is that possible that she's so darn stupid not to notice that she didn’t pick the , she was not right road, why the hell didn't she use GPS, why the hell was it made for? For such situations of course, and what do you think it turned to be? She was driving in circles half of the book, what was the point for that?" let me clear it uptalking about a typical kind of roads ok? , the things is that she was talking about a woman who was dreaming a strange dream where she dreamt that her marriage was the wrong thing to do so the whole story that character was going to nowhere discussing about her bad choices and being retarded and turning to a psychopath somewhat, and that's kind of a situation we needed to analyze for our psychology homework, don’t get me wrong I still didn’t figure out the GPS part, so the story was kind of told backwards, but I'm working on a version, because she's the one who promised to help me with these homework since my lack of time due to extended fairy tales dreams I always have about Josh and such and of course because I'm the one who is in charge of the poetry competition.

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