candleburn

The time froze. I was approaching to the moment where I had to face my darkest secrets, I had to face myself. Alex and I have been hanging out for a while now.  I was frustrated, I didn’t have the answers for his questions, I was lost, and yet could not live another day without seeing him. Suddenly I got it; it was right in front of me, the only answer I tried not to think of, as it was too rushed, I was sure that I couldn’t continue with my same routine life without hearing his voice as he gently whispers to my ears, his touch on my shoulders, it turned to be like oxygen to me. I decided to do something; I won't let it end like that. However, what can I do? I'm a senior and haven’t finished school, there's not much for me to do, I will never convince my parents that's obvious, they think that I'm crazy and that I'm going through this rebellious phase.My suitcases were ready, I saved up the money my grandmother used to give me for Christmas, I've plent...

Trying to reach up for his hand, It's so far away, I don’t know if I can stand it, Not now, not for a long time, I can't find the way out of the place I'm standing It's dark and flawless at the same time The glittery stars above, I know I need to hold on, I know that I'm stronger than what I seem to be Could I live in the expense of the touch? Could I possibly see through the obstacles? I'm not that strong, the way I used to be, It's easy to give up now, Losing hope, I know I can't stand the ache of the loss The ache of knowing that what was there in front of me Was not the obstacle I needed to face but myself.

העולם עמד מלכת.לקחתי נשימה אחרונה וצללתי לתוך התהום של האי ידיעה לגבי מה שאני הולכת לעשות בעתיד. אם לחשוב על זה, מה כבר השגתי בחיים? אני לא מרגישה שום סיפוק אישי, אני יודעת שקיים בתוכי חור ששואב הכול לתוכו, ואין יותר שום דבר מוצק להיאחז בו. "היי ליבי" אני שומעת מרחוק, שוב הקול הזה, כל כך מוכר ועדיין מנוכר, אני מרגישה שאני חיה בעולם של צללים, ברגע שבו אני מנסה להושיט את ידי לעבר האופק אני שוב מאבדת את האחיזה, העמידה שלי מתרופפת, הרגליים שלי משקשקות ואני מאבדת את שיווי המשקל ומוצאת את עצמי שוב על האדמה. אני נוגעת בחול שמתחתי, אדום ורך, הרוח שנושבת ומזיזה את שערי מעיפה את כל מה שהיה בתוך כפות ידי הגדולות שמחפשות רמז, מענה, תשובה לריקנות, מחפש משהו שימלא אותו מבפנים, שיתן לו את הכוח להמשיך. "היי" קולי היה עמוק וצרוד, אני מרגישה כל מיתר בגרוני זז לשם יצירת הצליל הזה, אני נאחזת שוב בדבר שהוא לא קיים, האחיזה שלי מתרפית, ואותו אדם שעמד מולי תפס אותי בדיוק לפני ההתמוטטות שלי. זה היה רוב, ידידי הוותיק זה שנים, אני מוציאה חיוך חלוש מבעד לשפתי, אבל לא מצליחה להזיז את ...

Walking wistfully across the street, I cannot let go of the memories The unending view in front of me, The speeding cars, Once it was the place that I called my home, Once it was the place I knew was safe Tracking the rough steps poured in the pavement, There was time before, that the curiosity devolved my guts There are painful sightings that I could not forget Still there was not even a day that didn’t fill me with regret, The burden of the knowledge is still burning in my blood I know that solving the mystery was not the thing that I was after I sense my trembling body, and it occurred to me, I knew that the danger was still within reach There was a shame in my eyes, I knew why, but I couldn’t tell, The pain was unbearable to carry on, I had to let go, the danger I assumed, Was not the one I feared? It was a danger of me getting too close, To the place I once called home, but not anymore

What holds you back? I know I need to let go, The real reason I live in the past, The main reason that keeps me back There's a piece of me, I am afraid to lose, There's a piece of me that defined what I was, The fog surrounds me, I can't see my way out, it's too late, There's a piece of me that I have not lost, That piece that stops me from moving on, The main reason I keep searching for The rays of the sun, Is the glimpse of pain that makes me move, I'm scared of what might happen, The scattered pages of my life I sense that silence that surrounds me The peaceful view of what I could've achieved, The scattered dreams I forgot There's a piece of me that still recalls, There's a piece of me that still longs, For the happily ever after, For the day i'd have the guts To fulfill what was written In those scattered pages that once were my dreams.

Carried with the waves, Long and still, my breath is caught by the humming breeze, The hot sand underneath, the peaceful view, I'm looking for you to guide me through, It was long ago, when I took this journey, I'm still looking for the desired answers, For you to tell me what the future holds, Frantic, that's how they call me, The shimmering sparkle of your eyes, I'm looking forward to meeting your gaze, One more phase, I am not going to put it on hold I was waiting too long to make that step , The gentle waves are leading me to the depths of the sea, I'm not afraid to look at the eyes of the death, That's the path I ought to take, It was something I needed to do, I've to figure out for myself. The truth of life, The meaning behind my existence, Please don’t wake me, There's only one step from my own redemption.

I've lost the spark, the growing gap, I can't make up for what is lost, The draining touch of the ray of the sun, Makes it harder to keep going, Looking for a clue, there's no one who Can possibly know, There's no one that actually cares, It's you and what is around, You can't make any sound, I feel like I'm a stranger in my own skin The protective shell is gone. Picking up the pieces of my soul, It won't be the same. The knowledge remains solid The mask you've put, Is no longer there, Groaning in between, I've lost my own track, I don’t know what I'm, You can't claim, That everything is going to be alright, The real pain is out of others sight I've lost the spark; it won't be the same again, Clashing all the norms, There're too much storms for me to handle, The view of the crashing waves makes me realize, That what is real, is what you feel inside, Anything besides that you can leave aside