candleburn

Rummaging through my soul Remembering the misconstrued words You have always sounded ingenious Wording your observations  after a long consideration It was my fault  my mind grasped them as messages of reassurance I become hopeful again Never considering to look sideways  Where your heart was beating along to someone else's The truth Followed by a despair Something broke inside beyond any repair I tried to look for a reason it tore me apart Once It felt like  my heart was moved by you albeit, it might have been a very short voyage The truth cropped up on me jolted me forward It didn't scare me Nor did it make me intrigued It was me that averted my eyes from the truth You were never mine, to begin with

It has been a while that I've been cuddled hard by loneliness, Never have I never tried to look for an escape, Never have I wondered How to create An alternative dimension, It has been a while that, That I wished for the universe to give me another chance A  chance  of gaining my happiness again, I figured that all the stories I have told, All the stories that were swirling in my mind, All were my own assumptions, I've recreated the  situations, I've made my own alternative universe, A universe which led my life, You stroked my hair and told me, that everything is going to be alright, that you would be able to soothe my stress, that you would be able to take my pain away, I tried not to take your words for granted, But that's the very thing that I've done, I swirled more stories in my mind, I've had doubts, I've been frightened to my bones, Never realizing if it's ok, Ok to let my guards down, It's been  a while that,

Nightmares were not seeking me at nights Instead, I was being haunted during daytime My nightmares have been disguised as my real desires They say you're what your heart aspires But my mind took the matter into its own hands I woke up and never realized that I was never wide awake I woke up to see the sun fully shining It bleakly shone through me My only hope was to get one last sight Of how would my life had turned around If I were truly wide awake Ahead I saw your face, Yet I could not distinguish I could not make sense If that were your true self that was showing Or just your bleak self I am sorry, that I couldn't see it before I'm sorry for whatever I had said I had pushed you aside Without even realizing so Ascending higher the crooked stairs Your face had shown up I could not hold it inside no more I smiled and  wished That this time my mind won't intervene I kept going, Never realizing I was still soundly asleep