"Wide awake"

Nightmares were not seeking me at nights
Instead, I was being haunted during daytime
My nightmares have been disguised as my real desires
They say you're what your heart aspires
But my mind took the matter into its own hands

I woke up and never realized that I was never wide awake
I woke up to see the sun fully shining
It bleakly shone through me
My only hope was to get one last sight
Of how would my life had turned around
If I were truly wide awake

Ahead I saw your face,

Yet I could not distinguish

I could not make sense

If that were your true self that was showing

Or just your bleak self

I am sorry, that I couldn't see it before

I'm sorry for whatever I had said

I had pushed you aside

Without even realizing so

Ascending higher the crooked stairs

Your face had shown up

I could not hold it inside no more

I smiled and  wished

That this time my mind won't intervene

I kept going,

Never realizing I was still soundly asleep

My heart in deep sorrow

I knew I had lost

Once the sun shone again

I looked and ahead was a mere brick wall

My heart couldn't win at all cost