You hold on to a memory when the void is difficult to bear, Like inside a vague dream, You see a motionless figure from afar a figure that slowly vanishes into thin air.
It might be nice to cling to memories. When do you know that the memory is real? and that it was not your mind’s creation?
We all have that memory or even a few memories to cling to when we are in deep despair or when we’re just lonely. When I’m lonely I look for ways to fill that void, and if I can’t, it becomes unbearable.
Memories can be associated with a person you loved and now you are no longer in touch with, dwelling on memories that this specific person had left with his departure. You start to wonder about — “what that person had left imprinted on your soul?” or “what kind of memory had you left?”
Sometimes, our memories don’t align with the other person’s memories. It’s all an element of perspective. Perspectives might be tricky, as it is also hard to find people who share a similar perspective to yours, because if they don’t, with time this relationship will crumble to pieces and fade away.
Memories help you to self-reflect. You can look back and contemplate by asking yourself: “how could I have behaved otherwise?” — then reach the conclusion which is — You can’t change the past but you can control the future.
The concept of a future always had frightened me, as it seemed hazy, therefore it was always easier for me to dwell on the past. I like going back in time to what once was my daily commute to college.
During my commute, I couldn’t help it but explore my surroundings. Same people were commuting with me every day, and surprisingly sometimes new faces had shown up. I wondered — “how did these people lead their lives?” and “what kind of jobs were they doing?”
I had about 3 to 4 hours of commute a day. I also chose to take a route that runs beside a seashore as it calmed my nerves, even though it might have made my journey longer.
I still remember the endless sea shoreline, it seemed for a mere instant as if the shore neither had a beginning nor an end. The waves’ movement made my heart flutter.
What makes you dwell in your memories? how do you avoid the void? I try to distract myself with music, but music is only a temporary solution, as the void finds its way to creep inside your mind, and then it is too late to fight it off.
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