Purpose + Travel = ?

With my travels, I figure out more about myself. I get irritated quickly, I judge quickly, I might keep expecting too much. 
I wanted to find the sense of life, wanted to have a purpose for keep going. Yet again I feel purposeless and alone. 

I feel alone even when I'm surrounded by people I know. 
I feel so deadly alone that it sometimes suffocates me and sometimes breaks me apart.

Seems like I do not know who I am, I do not have a sense of self. I walk along the street like a shadow or a passing wind. 

I pass and walk into nothingness. 
Routine once saved me. Now it is eating me alive. 

I'm always angry, I'm angry because I'm always scared. I'm always sad. I can't handle my emotions. 
Feels like I might explode. 
My explosion is near and so far away.